This is the entry where I basically talk to myself about school minutiae you don't care about! Be warned!

Yay for school! I'm so happy now that I dropped chemistry last term. This is the first term where they've added changes to the curriculum to match what (school I want to get in to) is demanding. So if I'd done it last term, I maybe would have then had to take some cruddy extra course when I got there, which would suck. Well, probably not, but anyway now I'll have the same material covered as the other folks.

Also: the teacher I have is so far very super. Unlike the instructor last term, who essentially speed-read the textbook to us, this one makes class a big conversation about chemistry. She grills us constantly to see if we actually understood. And of course if we didn't, we can then read the textbook to find another way of explaining it, rather than having the textbook be the exact words the teacher used in class. She doesn't write much on the board, forcing you to pay attention and take notes.

The having to make up notes and being grilled and put on the spot was annoying for the first hour, but then I snapped out of it. Apparently I was channelling myself in my last year of highschool where I auto-criticized any teaching technique at all. But hello: this means I learn chemistry way way better! And it's more interesting!

It makes me so angry all over again about the instructor last term, though. Reading the textbook to the class isn't teaching! Maybe if you wrote the textbook. But even then, like, you need to take questions from the class.

Well anyway. That's gone and now I have an awesome teacher and I'll stop being a spaz about random past piss-offs, because like, they're totally PAST. And the hours are way better - my latest class ends at 5:30. It'll all work out.

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So now I'm starting to get the heebies about applying for pharmacy. Because now it's SOON again. Mixed in with the heebies about this spring: I need to get math and biology this spring, or it won't be SOON at all. And it looks like biology won't be offered as a distance ed course, so scheduling could be crazy. But they're both offered as night course THIS term, and NEXT term is the NORMAL time for people to take those second term courses so there should be more of them. And of course lots of people take bio and math at the same time, so of course they won't conflict. Right? But I will be nervous until the end of november when the new schedule is out. Thank goodness this time I won't also have to worry about getting IN to the courses. Because I am back in my spoiled, first crack at all courses spot on top of the heap. Nyah nyah.

But anyway. It's SOON that I apply. January, I think I will, though the deadline isn't until the end of March. I should get an application package soon. I need to take the PCAT in january, I'll have to study up on the biology I haven't taken yet to take that test. I think I'll do fine, I always do way more than fine on standardized tests, but I worry all the time anyway. And the scary part: I need to get reference letters, two of them. I work for my dad and sometimes my mom and they're no good for letters. There are other pseudo-bosses I can ask, but it's scary. I'll do it, but you know. I will be a nervous queen until it's done. And they suggest having one letter from a pharmacist and I don't know any. Which is okay they say. But then, I know the head of a pharmacist association. But he doesn't know me very well. So I might get a better letter from someone else. But not such a pharmaceutical one. And and I don't know! I'm babbling. Anyway, I'm sure when I look at the package which lines out a structure for reference letters, I'll calmly think "Oh, I'll ask blah, and blah. It will take them 20 minutes, it will be great." And then I'll think "And my marks are excellent. And I will rock the PCAT. And I will send everything registered mail and make a zillion copies. And I will write an awesome r�sum� that's impressive and 100% true because I am totally entitled to such a beast. And I will write an excellent application letter, because outside of my rambling diary full of random non-sequiters, folksy diction, and run-on sentences, I can write a fine persuasive letter. And they will totally call me for an interview, which I will also rock." And I'll worry until July when I find out anyway.

I'm so rambly today! I don't know why I'm so worried. I DO have great marks, this application stuff is cake, and also, who am I competing with, mostly? People straight out of highschool with one year of university. Even if our marks are the same, I think I can more convincingly say I am motivated to do this, say I have X and Y job experience and demonstrated aptitudes in related skills Q and P, and in an interview I will not be the nervous student I was in my first job interviews, I will be the confident cheerful girl who works in customer service and I will be totally convinced that pharmacy is the job for me and I am the girl for pharmacy.

Because I am. You know? Well, _I_ know. And I'm telling you. And I'll tell them.

And I'll still be a nervous noodle until July because I worry about EVERYTHING.