Blarrrf! I'm allergic to work. As soon as I walk in the door I get all nauseous. Maybe it's the canned air? Or maybe there's a secret radio transceiver in my shoes that sets them to "S. S. Tilt-A-Whirl" when I get within twenty feet of my desk. Only I took my shoes off, so that would have to be a pretty powerful little shaky device. But that's totally what it feels like: my own personal earthquake. Bleahhh!

Maybe I'm PREGNANT! That's what the Nausea/Vomiting Self-Care Flowchart suggests. I think I'm going to have to beat up the Nausea/Vomiting Self-Care Flowchart, if for no other reason than that its name makes me woozy all by itself. Wooooo bleck.

Speaking of non-existent pregnancies, saturday night boy and I went to my office party and this was the entirety of our conversion with one guy:

"Hi there!"

"So are you married?"

"Uh, no."

"Any babies?"

"Nope!"

(my mom, trying to rescue me:) "They're just babies themselves! She's going back to school soon anyways."

"No babies?"

"Let me check." (obb looks through purse) "Nope, no babies."

MAN. I'll have to stop complaining about my pseudo-father-in-law's hints about grandchildren, 'cause he is downright SUBTLE compared to this guy. Though I can see why he might have babies on the brain; two of my co-workers at this party are pregnant. One is due any day now, the other is 5 months pregnant. I'm such a clueless loser and so is my boss - we never even noticed. My mom had to find out for us. Never noticed the 5 months pregnant one, that is. I did manage, with my fabulous powers of observation, to figure out that the 8.5 months pregnant woman was pregnant. Admittedly, only by being invited to her baby shower at 8 months, but pshaw! My grasp of the obvious is still tenuously in place!

Hmm. Making fun of myself seems to ease the nausea. I'm not sure I'm happy about that.