Okay, you know what's awesome? Cleavers are awesome. We got a solid metal cleaver as a housewarming gift and I've been making fun of boy for the big crush he has on it. He's seriously in love with it, I think he'd kiss it if it wouldn't totally chop his head in two. Yesterday he made enough food for the entire week, I think mostly as an excuse to chop vegetables really really quickly. You know on Wok With Yan, how much fun Yan appears to be having as he gets paid to chop things up? Times ten and you get the absurd glee of vegetable-boy here.

But anyway, this morning I finally used it to chop some cucumber and DAMN. That IS fun. It's like I'm a chopping MACHINE. I can never go back to my crappy safeway serrated knives again. We're going to have to get a big set of cleavers and soon we'll be buying entire cows just so we can chop them up, also we'll both turn in to lupo the butcher and live in a nest of chopped up furniture. Please, please, put us out of our misery now.

I woke up at 4:45 today, after a princely 4 hours of sleep. And it is BRIGHT out at 4:45 these days, as it turns out. Whoah. There is too much of a good thing after all. I spent half of sunday sleeping so I'm not so bad off, especially after having my first coffee in days (with sweet-n-low, aka, sweet-n-barf. that's the last time I try fake sugar, man. eww.) this morning. I think I might need to make some dark curtains. Or uh, start going to bed before 12:45, so that it's possible to get enough sleep before work starts.

I have a crush on an imaginary man from a children's book. This is so embarassing. But he seriously needs to arrive in a transdimensional portal, tell me that MY world is the fictional one, and he's kidnapping me so I can join his harem. And also he has an arrangement with some hot pirates to take me on field trips on the weekends. And I get a hammock. Is it so much to ask?

edited to add: I am the 2nd best resource on the web for "cheerleader crack shots" according to MSN. WHAT?

edited again to add: and my pilates for dummies video needs to magically change in to "pirates for dummies," pronto.