I have a chemistry midterm tonight and I'm terrified of studying for it and I don't know why. The time is getting closer and closer and I .. haven't studied. This is so retarded. I just took lunch, took my books with me, opened them.. and twenty minutes later found myself with heartburn from shovelling so much food in my mouth that I couldn't read. What the hell? HELLO! MIDTERM! BRAIN WAKE UP!

I'm not coping well with this week. I'm excelling at school so far, but the rest of my life seems like too much to deal with. I wander around not sure what to do, and end up curled up on the couch. I need more sleep, more focus at work, more studying, more time spent preparing meals, more time working out, more time with boyfriend, more time with friends, more time with family. More more more I'm going mad.

I'm officially halfway through the semester now.

I feel so fuzzy today. I can identify the fact that I'm braining a bit below the mark, but that's it, that's no help for it.

well, at least my allergies are gone. there are posters all over campus about eating disorder awareness week saying "if you feel good on the inside it will shine through". I hope it works in reverse. I'm lookin' great on the outside right now, but god I'd trade a bald spot and 50 pounds and a big ol' wart on my nose for a lil' boost in the super-genius department right now.

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maybe I just need to take up drinking coffee. I'm gonna go splash some water in my eyes and make chem notes.