Yay, I might get to work 8-4 two or three days a week after all. That would be nice. The days I start with a cup of coffee seem a lot nicer because being awake first thing, being aware of the passage of time, makes the whole day seem shorter. Which seems counterintuitive, but that's life for you. But anyway, imagine having the same feeling only because you're actually well-rested. Well, I'm sure most of you don't need to imagine, you probably work 9-5 and are going "Uh.. 8-4 still sounds pretty goddamn early." But you know. It's way better than 6:30-2:30.

I am thinking I might go back to school full time as early as this summer. Er well, next summer, it's still summer now. This seems tantalizingly close for a while, then I remember "Um, it is august now." and realized that I was kind of thinking "well, it's november now" or "march." kind of. Anyway. It's not the greatest financial idea - I will have way less money saved up. But maybe it's a pretty good being happy idea. I'm not totally sure; it seems like my intuition for what will make me happy is a little off. But you just have to run with it sometimes, I guess. Anyway I'm starting to realize that I'll end up with a big frickin' student loan no matter how long I put off going back to school. I'd have to work like 6 more years to save enough for all of school, and that's with saving half my salary, which is pretty onerous.

I have to think. I have to talk to boss and talk to a counsellor at school. I have to figure this out. In the meantime, I have to uh.. keep surfing the web for several hours a day. Heh. Oh, job fulfillment, thy face is in shadow! Well anyway, business should pick up soon. Next week is the deadest week of the year even in an up market, but then everyone wakes up again in september.

Oh, I slept for so long yesterday. 12 hours maybe. I haven't been running this week since sunday because I've been so ZONKED every day. But I'll run today I think. Heh, hell, even if I JUST did my sunday runs, that's like half my weekly mileage anyhow. But more running is good running. And guitar playing. Practicing guitar is my new favourite thing, favouriter even than running. Because if I'm feeling blue, I brood while I run. The ol' running endorphins help some, but still. If I'm playing guitar, I am playing guitar. It's too tricky for me to be sitting there being angsty or sleepy or what. And if it's not too tricky, then I am all pleased because suddenly it's not too tricky because I was practicing. And then I can make it tricky again. I sound like a frickin' three year old here. Anyway. Two legs bad, guitar legs good.

One day when I am rich and famous, I will get a larrivee guitar. I like my norman plain ol' folk guitar just fine, and with my level of skill I sound about as good on a cheap ass guitar as I do on a $3000 solid wood doohickey. But ooh. Boy's family has a couple of larrivees and they are sweeeeet to play on. The steel string they have, ohh.. I like to just sit there and pluck the strings randomly with this dreamy expression on my face. It sounds niiii-iiice, even when I am playing it. And it sounds absolutely amazing when boy's rockstar brother plays it. And it's gorgeous, all their guitars have beautiful inlays and the wood is just so and ahhh. Anyway. When I am rich and famous and play well enough to do such a thing justice. (That latter is the main thing. I mean, if I really wanted to, I could say "aw, fuck school" and buy a top of the line larrivee in a year and that would be that. But that would be silly, you don't need a grand piano to play chopsticks.)

I am almost done the back of my sweater. I may be done by winter, hoo-ray.