Such a tired space case. I find all these little sticky notes on my desk with cryptic numbers on them, no idea what they mean. A phone number. Looks like a government office? Or maybe the university. A number to three decimal places. A unit balance.. for someone's something. Or a scratchpad figure for my last chem lab. 14-23! Whatever that means. Wait, that's when boss is away. I have one paper that's like LL0211080949 and it's taken me two days to realize it's a confirmation number and contains just the date and time. Buffer overflow!

I stayed up late again last night but oh it was worth it, so much domestic madness going down. Stupid frickin' kitchen desk is gone! Instead of having to borrow a van or rent a truck and haul it to the dump, boy decided he wanted it for a workbench in his room. A ha ha! Now there's room to put our bikes somewhere without tripping over them all the time! My burnt out lightbulb was changed, we found the laundry card boy had lost again, and another 8 million fruit flies were vacuumed up.

School yesterday was so yuck. We did problems all class and every single time I finished a question I'd done it wrong. This is a bit embarassing since I work fast, so I'm always the first to volunteer my answer. By the fourth time the instructor was hovering over my elbow, pre-emptively telling me about my error. Heh. Guh. So tired, can't think straight. I went to the gym afterwards to pound out my frustration. Nevermind getting an A+, I have to be the best best best. The top 1% isn't good enough, oh no... This is so christing retarded of me. I know I am not the best, and the top 1% is fucking excellent. I have this incredible desire to please certain teachers, and this is one of them and so is the lab instructor. Coming straight from work makes me a few minutes late some times and I hate it. Being tired makes me slow some days and I hate it.

Then again, when it /isn't/ an instructor I want to please, I still want to be brilliant, just to show THEM, nyah nyah, etc. I just have fucking performance issues. I think I've come so far from my angsty days of yore, but seriously I've just upgraded my study habits to allow me to be back on top of the game. So I guess it's not really a problem, but I wish I was a little more serence about the whole business.

I think maybe I'm just extra freaked out from all the application stuff. I have to call this guy TODAY to chat about pharmacy. There's no more putting it off. And now that I've decided to, I have to ask this other guy for a reference letter soon, to avoid going insane with the dread of it. On the bus I go over interview questions and write and rewrite my personal statements in my head. I'm going to submit this application early just to get it out of my life. But it's so important, so I have to do it very carefully and well as well as soon, so it's a little, I'm a little, everything's just that little bit boiling over, you know?

Seriously, all I need is a nap. I'm gonna do my laundry tonight with my nice found-again laundry card, and take a nap in my unfolded laundry fresh from the dryer. If man can learn a lesson from cats, it's take a nap in the warm laundry.