Today we took the absolute value of a tree. "And when the tree is negative... uh.. a negative tree. I don't know what that means." We also used the function F(u). Snort. He's a genius. I really REALLY need to practice math. I can't remember even simple differentiation rules, but I need to know them cold and also memorize a new set of integration rules. I have two math assignments to do this weekend and I also want to do a BUNCH of practice and review.

Meanwhile I've been doing nothing but goddamn fucking biology all week. The quiz is tomorrow. 4 classes of tenterhooks and he was planning for friday all along. I mean, of COURSE he was, or what was the point of this whole stupid affair, but ARRRRRRRgh. It's been making me study all right, but goddamnit I like to choose when I study because I'm BUSY. So now I'm totally up to speed in YOUR class, yes, but at the expense of my other class & my physical fitness. BOO!

On the other hand, damn, I sure have a bunch of biology memorized. However much weekend math I have to do, biology will be cake.

Bleah. I think mostly I'm just subsuming my biology policy angst because the instructor is so devastatingly handsome. Defeated by my forebrain, how sad. Or hindbrain? I don't know, I haven't hit the brain yet in biology. Anyway more likely it's a gland that produces HORMONES. Both my teachers this term (a) are insane (b) in a really hilarious way (c) are totally hot (actually they look very similar. brown skin, eery pale eyes with that glint of madness, dark hair, fitted slacks. swoon. I swear to god, right now I'm the drooling 13 year old I never was when I was 13.) [(c.1) are obviously married, which conveniently lets me skip straight to the desert-island fantasy portion of the evening] (d) speak clearly (e) are obviously in love with their subject matter and (f) can't stop smiling. Apparently I totally have a thing for manic nutbars in tight pants. Well, who wouldn't.

Biology as a subject matter is still so super. This happened to me two years ago but I'd forgotten: while I am studying biology, the world around me becomes totally magic. I passed a fir today and stopped to stare up at it for a few minutes. Gymnosperm, I whisper, and go to touch the bark and smell the sap. I say hello silently, thinking back to archaeology field school and how the native students would very politely ask permission of the redcedar before tearing off branches to brush us off with. Last time I took bio my path home took me by the duckpond a lot and I would sit and watch the ducks and turtles for half an hour before I made it to the bus stop. The term after I would be catching the bus home late at night after chem lab and watch the raccoons pad around the pond in the dark. Life is so CRAZY. How fucking ACE to be alive, let me tell you.

Choir choir la la la! We are singing beautiful things. I can't wait for whatever it is I'm waiting for.

After tomorrow I am three weeks done this semester, and but 11 will remain. Oy, that sounds like a lot. I am having total fun, and having stopped going to the gym during the week (but I went in today for 15 minutes to lift weights, good for me!) and started sleeping more I am doing a lot better in the ol' mental health slash relaxation department. But it's still SO MUCH time and stuff to do and la la la. It will be good when it's over.

I am so ready for next fall. I will be doing nothing but school. Well and maybe I will have a very very part time job, and maybe I will help lead a pathfinder group. But school, baby, school will be my JOB. That will be AWESOME. Work has been good (it's so nice to be busy!) but ohhh! I want to go to school. I am so READY.

My percentage CAPITAL LETTERS in this entry keeps INCREASING so I think it's BED TIME. LA LA LA