number of times happier I am today: 10. number of times fewer idle thoughts about my weight today: 10. yay.

the oppression of mother summer is still leading me to want to reform my life, though. today I made a list of qualities I would like to live in alignment with, reading something like the guide law only longer. for each one I made a small challenge of something to do for this month. this is an 8 page list, which is fairly retarded. but then any of them that I do are probably quite worthwhile. some selections: go with mum to visit dying grandfather. eat chicken livers and clams until eligible to give blood again. say hello to the bus driver. research (3 religions/sects I have negative thoughts about) and write a brief list of positive things they do for the world. go for a walk in the endowment lands. It's kind of crazy how list-happy I am and how often I attempt to codify and spreadsheet my life, but anyway. The idea of being a renaissance women/good boy scout/well rounded person/efficient (effective?) life to the glory of god and/or the awe of human potential is very important to me. I should probably add to my list: meditate on why that is. I have already added to list: don't tear up list right away.